Someone like you
by ipodder
Summary: It feels very shy and middle school, despite the fact that they are so far beyond that point that Paige didn't even realize she never denied her 'big love' for Emily.


**Author's Note: Hi, I haven't written fanfiction in such a long time, but after becoming quite invested in PLL these ideas just keep tugging at me so i thought i'd give this a try. I've also never written slash before but it was actually easier than i thought because I feel like Paige and Emily's relationship is so organic that it's more about writing about the feelings, I don't know if that makes sense. But i hope you all enjoy it.**

Sometimes Paige isn't quite sure if Emily sees _her _when she glances over during movie nights, she wonders if Emily looks right past her and sees darker skin with more delicate features.

She wonders if Emily sees the scars and remembers the awkward haircut from last year and the way Paige's hands shook with every tentative kiss they've shared.

Paige isn't sure if Emily sees her for _her_, because otherwise why would she be sticking around?

Paige is pretty sure she's tumbled down, head first down the rabbit hole. She doesn't know how to go back from this and yet even after the attack and Nate and properly moving on from Maya, Paige still has moments of doubts that pull her back to being fifteen and scared all over again.

Emily is all long hair and subtle confidence, she's all legs and tanned and pouts at the cameras when she's completely unguarded. She talks shopping and cute tops with Hannah and discusses poetry with Aria. Paige watches her and is reminded of how Emily is _all girl_ even if she's not like the rest of her friends. Emily giggles when Spencer talks about her first time and crinkles her nose when it becomes _toomuchinfo _and squeals when she jumps into pools.

Paige just feels awkward most of the time, she feels all tense and uncomfortable and almost boyish when she's around Emily's friends. They're warming up to her, especially after that night, but more often than not Paige feels like the fifth wheel.

Emily _pounces _at her and crashes her lips to Paige's, hands everywhere and just going in deeper till Paige could feel her smile lightly into the kiss. They're battling but neither is taking control and Emily sucks in a breath.

'You've never kissed me like that before', Paige says, pulling away.

Emily smiles regretfully, ' Paige,I just-'

'No no, I get it, I thought you were just kind of shy about these stuff before, but now I guess it makes sense. And its okay.'

Emily pulls back and frowns, she doesn't have to ask. 'This isn't because of Maya,' she holds her breath, 'well i mean it is. But not for the reason you think. It's like-'

'Emily, it's okay. Look, It's nothing to do with me-'

Emily pounces again and runs flustered hands through her hair, they're getting longer now, and Paige isn't thinking of chopping it off, Emily has a thing for long hair.

'It's everything to do with you. I've moved on from Maya, Paige. I've been moving on gradually since I kissed you by the pool that night. Granted maybe I wasn't as ready as I thought I was. But after Nate, that was the closure I needed. I wasn't pulling back because of guilt, and it wasn't because I kept waiting for some kind of sign or permission from her, I just wanted to be sure that when I get all in, my head is clear, that my heart is clear. And it is, now.'

It's Paige who charges this time, pulling the taller girl into an embrace.

'I know we've been waiting for this to work properly, for a long time. I won't let anything mess this up. I promise you.'

Paige is usually cautious with offering promises, with the fear they can't be kept. But this has to work,it just has to.

Paige knew she was right in being cautious with her promises, because in this town, there's always something lurking in the corner ready to break things apart.

Emily shows up at her front door right before lunch, her hand clutching some sort of stationary. Paige's stomach sinks right away and gathers the courage to look nonchalant.

'Hey, I didn't know we made plans today? Everything okay?'

Emily's reply was a look of betrayal and the letter from a different lifetime shoved into her chest.

'Emily, come on, Em! Wait up!'

Looking back on it, it was actually a very romantic setting for the two of them, with Paige trying on the role of the groveling Prince Charming, trying to repair whatever it was that she had to.

'Em, wait, please.'

Emily turns to look at her, 'I'm not angry Paige. I'm just, I'm just upset. Upset that you never ever told me. I know you wrote this, okay, A may have played a part in this but I just-I am so sick of things resurfacing, I'm not in some twisted triangle with you and A here Paige, although sometimes it feels like I am.'

Paige just stands there dumbly, _this can't be the end, can it? _Does she risk her own pride in turn with keeping Emily? She's terrified about how this may change them.

'It's just you and me in this Paige, please explain to me what this is.'

So she does, she apologizes for not mentioning it when she told Emily about her feud with Alison, she tells Emily about how she was so crippled in shame and self doubt and insecurity that it twisted her inside and made her go the other way-to hurting Emily and punishing her and herself subconsciously for craving something so unattainable. She tells Emily how she remembers when they first met at the swim team try outs, and how Emily was looking really nervous in her pink polo shirt, how for the rest of the school year, she watches Emily with her stomach in knots and that's why she never sticks around after practice when it's just them and a few other girls, never talks to Emily much on the bus.

'I know you probably thought that I was hiding the fact that I liked _girls_ and that was why I kissed you in the car in the school parking lot, I didn't want to sound like a weirdo and admit to wanting you since I was fourteen, since before I understood what it meant. There's never been anyone else for me. I'm sorry.'

Emily stays quiet the whole time, and with that apology she reaches out to take Paige's hand, the letter dropping to the floor.

'I wished I would have known, things would have been very different for both of us.'

'So you're not mad?'

She laughs, 'No, I could never be. Besides, it's adorable that you've been checking me out since we were like, just growing out of puberty.'

They settle into a routine after that, Paige sits with Emily's friends during lunch and tries to not feel awfully out of place when Hanna plays with Aria's oversized, over colored earring and they giggle about the new Victoria Secret fashion show or whatever it was. She just feels so _butch _and _dorky _sitting at a table she used to sneak glances at.

She must have zoned out for a while because she looks up from her mac and cheese to find the four girls staring expectantly at her.

'Um, I'm sorry I-'

But Emily pipes up, 'you guys are boring my girlfriend with make up chit chat.'

And there it goes again, hearing that word used on her makes her heart just want to burst into flames and she really can't control it.

Hanna laughs, 'well, then we can talk about what Paige and I have in common instead-aside from our big love for Emily! Have you seen Sean around lately? His new girlfriend is such a barbie. Have you seen them?'

And what could have potentially been very awkward actually earned a playful slap from Emily, furiously denying that she was at all jealous then, Paige finds herself more relaxed as she sipped on her juice box, entangling her free hand with Emily's under the table.

It feels very shy and middle school, despite the fact that they are so far beyond that point that Paige didn't even realize she never denied her 'big love' for Emily.

'Paige?' Her girlfriend's soft voice calls her attention back, she was distracted by the take out menu and didn't notice how Emily has been quietly contemplative for about five minutes since they walked into the McCullers' kitchen.

'Yeah Em?'

'I don't want this to be awkward, me bringing this up. But I just-I wanted to apologize for Hanna today at lunch. She's my best friend and she means well but sometimes she just-'

Paige quirks an eyebrow, it's strange to see someone usually so still, laced with quiet confidence so jittery, It reminds her that Emily isn't actually an angel, well, some of the time.

'talks to make noise?' she offers.

Emily laughs, but is defensive, 'hey! Hanna does mean well, it's just what makes her so _Hanna-'_

'I know, i think it's endearing.'

'The Sean thing really was fine Em, I mean, it was such a long time ago. So much has happened since then and honestly it's a little funny, but clearly you know I just couldn't stay away.'

Emily gives a soft smile and nervously bites her lip, 'Yeah, I was actually kind of talking about the other thing-when Hanna said you and her have-'

_Oh._

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even brought it up clearly it's making this very awkward when it wasn't. Right-'

'No no, Emily. I'm sorry. That's not me feeling awkward about it, it's me trying to say something that you probably already know and something I have been wanting to for a really long time.'

It wasn't supposed to happen like this, Paige had it all planned out. Maybe over a clear night sky on the hood of her car? Maybe during their first time? Or on a romantic walk on the beach somewhere, but definitely not in her kitchen at 7pm with take out menus scattered all over the counter.

But then she looks up to see Emily suddenly right in front of her, all soft eyes and beautiful hair and she just can't help herself. If she doesn't take the plunge now, it'll be lost forever.

'I wanted it to be special, I um, I didn't want it to be thrown out casually like this.'

Emily smiles, 'I think we've alluded to it enough now that it doesn't matter Paige. Where and when doesn't matter to me, it's _you _that makes it all the more special.'

Paige kisses her then, all hands tangled in hair and shallow breaths before breaking apart and whispering the words she's known to be true since she was fourteen years old.

'_I am so incredibly in love with you.'_

If her fourteen year old self could look back now and see where she is, with her _dreamgirl _whispering those words right back into her lips, pushing her gently against the counter and inching her hands up her shirt, lips on her neck as she giggles softly and mumbles Paige's name over and over again like a halo, then she would know that sometimes _things just work out._


End file.
